The Evolutionary Purpose of Heartbreak
I heard it,
The ear-splitting crack
So jarring
Disrupting the peace
That I’d taken for granted
before
I felt it,
The pain
From the sudden break,
Catching me off-guard
Blazing hot
Seeping in from every corner
The worst was how
It would come and go in waves
Never settling into a dull ache
Like all the times I’d been hurt
Before
But maybe if it didn’t hurt this bad
Maybe if I wasn’t curled up on this floor
Trying to grasp for any kind of support,
I’d want to come
after you
I wouldn’t learn my lesson like I didn’t
Ever seem to
All those times
Before
I’d pick myself up off the ground,
I’d chase you down,
Ask you to stay
Even when your heart was
Barely mine
anymore
I’d think my words could
Make a difference
They always did,
They had the power to sway
Before
I’d trick myself into saying they could
Change you and your mind
Things I never knew how to read
But tried
Because I was never one to give up
Before
If I didn’t feel like I was breaking
On the inside,
Oh, I’d still believe in the best of you
Until the end of time
To crush the hope
That would only lead to the worst of us
That would only ruin us
more
In the long run
That’s what we had to do
If we were ever going to make it out of this alive
So if I can’t follow you,
I’ll let this pain come after me
This gnawing pain
The growing ache
Threatening to overtake
All of me
Even when it doesn’t ever seem to get any better
I tell myself it will
Because
If I survived feeling like this
Before
I know what comes
After
Living without you
Being without you
Shaking my head from the thoughts of you
That cross my mind in the wake of you
Learning to look at strangers
Without trying to look for what I was only
Ever trying to find with you
For now,
This is
Bleeding without you
Breathing without you
Remembering why
There’s a reason this hurts so bad
Because you were no good
For me
So in good time,
I’ll stop believing in
Before.
And
I’ll watch over me
I’ll do a better job of it, I’m sure
Than ever
Before.
For once
For now
Forever more.
